Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Ava's story

I was having a normal healthy pregnancy. I had to go in for another ultrasound at 24 weeks because at my 20 week ultrasound Ava wouldn't show her face (She liked to be head down and face to my back) so they were trying to get her face again and the lady kept asking me if I had been sick or around cats or sick people. I said no and she got the doctor and he told me that Ava had Hydrops Fetalis, which is an end stage. (Meaning nothing you can do).

Hydrops is fluid in two places of the body. For Ava, the heart, lungs, and brain. It can be caused by the RH factor (very uncommon now), chromosomal, or a virus. We saw a specialist who saw extra blood flow in her brain, which is an indicator of anemia, and anemia is common in viruses. So he recommended that we go to the Pitt County Memorial Hospital and have a procedure called PUBS done (Blood transfusion to the baby through the umbilical cord via mom's belly). It was confirmed she had severe anemia and that the likely cause was Parvo. (caused by slap cheek aka fifths disease).

We were in and out of doctors for a few days. But then I began sever swelling (I had been swelling for at least a week, but it was getting worse) and gaining 9 lbs overnight in water weight. I was developing mirror syndrome which means I was copying what was happening to my daughter. It is like pre-eclampsia. My blood pressure went up to 13o's/70's. And I was +1 protein in my urine. When I got to +2 protein and had gained another 10 pounds of fluid and my blood pressure was 140's/80s I was admitted to the hospital and was told I would stay there until Ava's hydops was under control (Since they thought it viral that means it could run its course and leave us to continue a healthy pregnancy) I had another PUBS done and they xrayed me for fluid in my lungs, which I had some. My liver enzymes rose daily. On Sunday May 16th, I was having a great day. My BP went down and so did my liver enzymes. I had been leaking fluid the past few days, but my water wasnt broken. Sunday night I woke up and had a lot more fluid, my water had finally broken....at only 26 weeks.

Ava was given a 0% chance of living if delivered before 30 weeks. They had given me steriod shots 2 days before...but they were not hopeful. At this point I had gained 50 pounds in 2 weeks of water weight. I had more fluid in my lungs and when they administered meds to stop labor, my heart rate went erratic. I was put on oxygen and they told me that my life was now in danger. (Not because of the meds, it just happened at the same time) (They had kept telling me since I found out Ava had hydrops 2 weeks prior that my life was getting weaker, but now it was a fact.) Without an intact water and already 1-2 cm dialated, there wasnt anything they could do to give her another blood transfusion. Without that she would die, and I had maybe a week left myself. She needed at least 4 more weeks to have a chance to live, but that was impossible. My doctor came in asking if she could induce the labor, but I refused. (This was may 17th now) I didnt want to give up, I knew that she had a virus she was battling and that if I gave her time everything would be ok. But I kept deteriorating and my husband begged me to induce. I was told if the baby's heart rate dropped they would not do an emergency c-section. And that if my life was at risk and they had to do an emergency c-section I would probably lose the ability to have more children AND I would lose Ava anyway.

So at 5:25pm on May 17th I finally consented to induction. I had a folli bulb which hurts...Ava's heart rate never dropped during labor. They stopped monitoring near the end because they were so sure she wouldnt ilve. And didnt want me to lose it if I heard her heart stop. They checked every now and then, and it was such a relief to hear her heart. I felt, and still feel...like I failed her. I know her hydros was very severe, and she may still have never had time to get over the virus even if I hadnt induced...but I still wish I had risked my life to try to save hers...even if it wouldnt of worked. At least I would be with her, but that was selfish of me to want...my husband and family need me.

3:07am Tuesday May 18th (at exactly 26 weeks) my daughter was born alive and kicking. (but no crying) 3lb 7 oz (about a pound of fluid weight for her) 14 inches long. They immediatly started working to get a tube down her throat to help her breathe. They were able to get a tube in, they didnt think it would be possible.

At 6:30am I got to touch my daughter for the first time. She was so small and so beautiful for being so early. her features defined so well. I felt a lot of hope then.

I finally went to try to sleep (I hadnt slept in 3 days). At 11am they came and woke us up, telling us she was failing and we should go hold her and say goodbyes. We rushed up there and when we got there they were working on her to save her....I can talk about her birth but this part always makes me choke up because I can vividly see them all around her...the worst thing you can ever see. The doctor came and told us she was still alive, but barely and that she doesnt think they can keep her alive and even if they can...not for long. that she is just going to suffer and end up dying anyway. So my husband told them to stop, and I nodded....and they handed me her. She was so warm and so so so small. I just started crying. And I feel bad because even as I delivered her I was only saying "Im sorry Ava". And now as she was in my arms all I could do was cry. My husband and my mom held me and her together and we just felt her. I finally let my husband hold her, and we both saw (he felt) her last kicks. My brother held her when her heart finally stopped beating (that is when they can prounce the person dead, but she had stopped breathing over an hour prior)
At 1:13pm our little girl was an angel.

Later that day my blood tests came and the amniotic fluid both tested positive for Parvo. So I am thankful that this case of Hydrops cannot happen again to us. That is wasnt a genetic thing.
Sorry this was so long...I kinda just went back and remembered. Thanks if you read it.

1 comment:

  1. There are no words. I'm so sorry, Alexa. Ava had a wonderful Mom. I'm sure she is very proud of you.

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